My main time wasting comfort of 2020 has been “aimlessly” scrolling through Pinterest. One of the things that entertains me most is the mislabeling of pictures and/or odd clickbait captions.

Oh, how mislabeling Black Sabbath will never get old to me! It’s kind of questionable that even I can’t tell if I am being sarcastic about this. It’s one of my favorite things to screencap.

they got “handsome boys” right, at least.
bonus Trevor Dunn labeled as Mike Patton

Now, I love a good mysterious caption all clickbait-y and trying to lure me in. I am also unreasonably proud of how I can pass up the temptation and not click on the links.

So, I’m scrolling aimlessly the other night when I should be trying to sleep and I see this interesting picture/caption combo:

I walked away. I threw my hands in the air and walked away. But I came right back because my mind was just flipping through all the (5 or 6) Twisted Sister songs I could think of. It had to be “We’re Not Gonna Take It” right? That has to be on the top of the list of Metal Songs To Strip To. Curiosity finally got the better of me. I clicked on the link and I was disappointed to find a page on a pole dancing site that it was just this picture and headline with a comment box. Zero comments.

Then my 3am brain, who knows zero about stripping or choreography or what people look for in their strip club experience, decided it needed to figure out the best metal song to strip to. The only scientific way would be to turn to my “Rock On Jamz” playlist and hit shuffle. The first song was Rainbow’s “Man on the Silver Mountain.” Which I am sure would be a hit at the club!

Next up came what I am sure has to be the #1 song in any pole dancer’s repertoire:

Can you think of anything better? (I doubt it!) Comment away!


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