Today’s Rant- “The Year 3000”

He said, “I’ve been to the year 3000
Not much has changed, but they lived underwater
And your great-great-great-granddaughter
Is doin’ fine, doin’ fine”

That quote is from The Jonas Brothers cover version, the one they play on Walmart Radio where I was made aware of this song. The original, from Busted, goes like this:

He said “I’ve been to the year 3000
Not much has changed
But they lived underwater
And your great-great-great-granddaughter
Is pretty fine, pretty fine”

It’s an understandable lyric change for the cover, but it’s neither here no there in regards to my little rant today.

This song came out in 2002. which means the year 3000 was 998 years in the future. Even with some serious old man Mick Jagger-esque fathering generation after generation, 998 years is a very long time.

I am more than halfway through my life, but my youngest first cousin is probably in his early 20’s. Our great-great-great-grandfather’s brother was in the Civil War. 1861-1865. Abraham Lincoln times! The Civil War ended 161 years ago!

Okay… It’s Math Time.

We’re going to use the youngest member of Busted, Charlie Simpson, in this scenario. He was born in 1985. Let’s say he does a Mick Jagger thing and fathers a child at the age of 73. That baby would be born in 2058. Let’s say that baby is a son who decides to one up his dad and fathers a child when he is 83. Charlie Simpson of Busted would be a new grandfather in 2141. Cool.

So, the grandson will one up his father and father a child at 90. It could happen. Science might catch up with this. Charlie Simpson will be a great-grandfather in 2231. That kid grows up and fathers a kid at 95. Then Charlie Simpson will be a great -great-grandfather in 2326. We’ve got 674 years to make up in this last generation, the one where Charlie Simpson’s great-great-great-granddaughter is born.

IVF, perhaps? I read this morning that a baby was recently born 28 years after it’s embryo was frozen. Do you think that in the future scientists will be able to freeze an embryo for hundreds of years? Will they be able to keep records and know that the future child was related to Charlie Simpson? Or do you think people will have longer lifespans?