A recent 3 am Pinterest search for “how to get your life together” gave me a list of things to accomplish in order to become my best self. Number 6: Prioritize Sleep.
Still working on that.
Last night (or this morning), I was looking through some old folders in my email and I found some notes and comments from some of my earliest websites that I had on free webhosts. My first page was called “Brandi’s Home Page.” From what I remember, it had a Comic Sans font, the hex code for the background color was “ffcccc,” and it was even more bland and uninteresting than this page!
Next, I decided to jazz it up by switching the font to Ariel, and focusing less on 46 paragraph posts painfully detailing every single thing I did in a day, and more on my experimental poetry and Judd Hirsch fan fiction. With that upgrade, I changed the name of the site to “Caffeine, Sugar, and Non-Aspirin Pain Reliever” as those were the only mind-altering substances I let into my body. I was so straight edge for so long. I guess maybe I still am, or I am again after a period of like 12 years where I occasionally boozed it up. That’s a new topic for another time, maybe.
Here is an example of my poetry from that era:
Fireworks
Magnification. Disorder intense.
Offend minute advance beefsteak
small of claim puncher gnarled.
Lungs, reasons intend outlying.
Cool French mass tranquillity
Bristle spoiled signals refrigerate
tall royal reform regiment
performance between sleep
Reverberate coonskin
place reply, "Hunt Handsome Fire"
plant possess saber hand
ketchup rest igloo locale
exsist turmoil coddle.
hilly import carry illness
romanticism, hydrogen, burial
Something misery rope.
upset line charcoal
shallow deviation scorn
chick chat, porcelain direct
mineral food filth conviction order.
gloat glory. (glossary glitch)
inhuman! delete railroad odors-
saliva object,
emotional moisture,
path ashamed- universal eczema.
exhort incantations, "security spit..."
Kidney bridge something make by any activity pause rank promising mentally cheerful breeze.
Elaborate?
Worsen absolute another devout direct meal enthusiast Satan lessen course detour horse's head flour liquid.
Twofold.
snap snap snap snap snap. As I am typing this, the deal on the side of this post says that the read time on this one is 2 minutes. It doesn’t take into account the time it’ll take to absorb that. hahahahaha
While looking through some old files (just now, not at 2 am) I found some entries that I should have taken a little more seriously:
March 9, 2009
I hit my head really hard today when I was putting out some paper towels and felt my brain whiplashiate in my head. I’m pretty sure I have a concussion.
March 10, 2009
I woke up at 3 am feeling like this guy :knife:
I took some migraine pills. Since then, I’ve felt like this guy :dead:
so tired. I’m taking a couple days off work.
I reported this accident right away, but got shrugged off and ended up taking a 6 month LOA that they didn’t even ask me what it was for. I was so different back then. I think I kind of stand up for myself a little better now.
