I just got a big solicitation envelope from the world wildlife foundation. They sent an adorable baby wildlife calendar! What a great way to try to get me to send them $16!

Those other charities don’t send me calendars.

Which is probably a good thing now that I think of it. I’ll be filled with pride as I look at the happy little pandas and tigers and chimpanzees that I’ve saved from extinction.

Sure, I want to save everyone. But how happy would it make me to look at pictures of old people with oxygen tanks and tracheotomies or sad little kids with low blood sugar all year long?

Keep sending the lighthouse address labels, other charities.