I’m happy that my brain still tries to work while I am asleep.

SETTING: some sort of festival in a park.

I see a woman with a horrible perm and feel I need to make a confession.

ME: Hi, I don’t think you know me. But I am having an affair with [whatever the guy's name was].

BAD PERM LADY: Oh, yes. I know exactly who you are. I walked in and caught you together a few days ago, but I didn’t want to disturb you so I left quietly.

ME: Wow! I’m sorry you had to see that. I just wanted to let you know that I’m trying to clean up my act and get my life together. I want to become a good, moral person. So I am going to end it.

BAD PERM LADY: Why don’t we go and talk to him?

ME: Yes, it will be a relief to get all of this out in the open so we can all move on with our lives.

(walking toward a complex of condos)

ME: I just hope this doesn’t ruin your relationship, you are both such good people.

BAD PERM LADY: I’m sure everything is going to work out. Here’s his condo- #66, right?

(she unlocks the door and we walk in. The guy walks out from the kitchen.)

GUY: Brandi! What are you doing bringing my deranged stalker into my house?!